Feeling VERY pregnant

After talking to other Moms and other FTMs I realize everything I am going through is TOTALLY normal. It does not make it fun, but just knowing it is normal, makes me ok with it. Everyone knows I am a planner. I like to have a plan and I like to execute said plan, and then I like to reap the results. With that being said pregnancy is really testing me. The whole "not knowing" thing is beginning to get to me.

Its like a double edge sword, because on one side I don't want to have to have a scheduled C-Section or scheduled induction, because I would like an unmediated birth, but on the other side the "waiting game" gets hard.

Being a FTM you question everything that is happening inside your body, so when you get that shooting pain from your back into your pelvis and down your thigh, you question if it is a sign of labor (well really you google it, because that's what our generation does). So when you go to the Dr every week and she continues to tell you that although you are feeling more pressure, there is no change, it makes you want to cry.

I get that "she will come when she is ready," but the excitement is killing Brian and I. The Dr continues to reassure me that she really could come any day, but when there is no progress each week it makes it hard for me to believe her. Its also hard because every time we talk to family or friends the first thing they say is "is she here" and then you have to inform them you are calling for a totally different reason and they are bummed. Almost makes you not want to initiate any phone calls because you dont want to let anyone down lol.

As I mentioned earlier when our generation has a question....we GOOGLE it! I cant tell you how many times in the last week I have googled "ways to induce labor naturally," and how many of those said ways I have tried....almost every single one!

Needless to say the excitement is building and so is the anxiety. Every time I leave the house, or make plans, I am fearful that my water will break. The reoccurring dream that I keep having is me in a grocery store with all my groceries and all of a sudden my water breaks, in the middle of the aisle. Then I look down to see a huge puddle of water, my pants all wet, and I have no idea what to do! SO I leave the store in embarrassment. Lets just say I have been avoiding the grocery store, because I am so fearful this will happen.

We are definitely to the point of not tying my shoes anymore, Brian shaving my legs, and leaving things on the floor when they drop. Sleeping is literally a work out with breaks in between of actual sleep, and loading the dishes gets me out of breath. The belly is officially in the way! The only positive is when you do pull up to a location that has expectant mother parking and you get to take full advantage, and park super close!

As the last weeks (hopefully week) comes to an end I am going to do my best to relax, and enjoy the quiet house that Brian and I have before a little one arrives. Brian keeps joking that with our luck she will come on Super Bowl Sunday when the game is tied. My original hope was that she would come on Wednesday as it is a full moon, but whenever she decides to come I know that Brian and I, as well as our families are all ready to meet her!