Mary Kay Monday- Crab People

In Mary Kay we often talk about "turning points" in our lives and how to identify them. A turning point happens when your mind makes a shift, and when this happens you remember EVERYTHING! You remember what you were wearing, who was with you, and the exact words that were said to make that shift in your brain.

I have had many turning points in my life over the past 27 years. My cousins claim I have a memory of an elephant because I remember many details but I think the difference is that I've had many turning points all of which I remember well.

At the end of March 2014 in Cincinnati, Ohio, I attended Mary Kay's Career Conference. Besides loving all the girlfriend time I got that weekend, I also had a major turning point in my life. We were at the conference center towards the back of the room, and I was in my new red jacket and excited as I had just confirmed I would be submitting DIQ in only a few short days! NSD Julia Burrnett took the stage, and I was so excited because I had never heard her speak before. As she began to talk it truly felt like we were the only two people in the room. You see I begin every Mary Kay meeting, event, or seminar, with a prayer that God challenges me, and allows my heart to be open to what is being said, and I know what she was saying that day was something I needed to hear.

I needed to hear it for myself, for people I knew, and for people I had no idea I would meet in the next year. What she spoke about was CRAB PEOPLE! Those people in your life that stomp on your dreams and you are the only one who is able to decide whether you believe what you know to be true or not.

Crabs are very interesting creatures and we can learn a hard lesson in life from them. Crabs are pretty neat in the sense that they can actually crawl into tight spaces, which is why when fishermen go out to catch crabs they have a trap that they stock with tons of food, and the crabs squeeze right in to eat up. They begin to pile high on top of one another and more just keep coming even after the food is gone. Among all those crabs one will start trying to get out of the bucket, and when this happens the other crabs pull him back in. If the crab continues to try, which it will, the other crabs continue to pull it back down, and eventually they kill the crab that tried to escape. This is called Herd Mentality.

The crabs were using their energy to pull the one crab down instead of using their energy to get out of the bucket themselves. Which is where the word CRAB MENTALITY comes from. In our lives we all have crab people. They can be a neighbor, coworker, customer, or family member. Those people who will do everything they can to try and bring you down, and crush your dreams. Not all crab people are bad at heart, some are just a product of the way they were raised or taught to think. Sometimes these people are only briefly in your life, and sometimes they are not going anywhere in a hurry, but you can always chose to ignore them, and break away from them. Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." So dont give anyone the consent to make you question your dreams.

When you are so excited about something in your life or your Mary Kay business and a crab comes in and tries to stomp on your goals and dreams dont allow them to plant seeds of doubt ("I know someone who did that and failed", or "I think some people can do it but doesn't seem like something for you," or "You could never do_______.") Subconsciously they are worried if you are able to escape "the trap" then you would be proving to them that they can too, and they dont have the courage to escape so it is better for them to pull you back down.

If there was only one thing I took away from Julia's speech, which trust me there wasn't, it would have to be that you have to let go of the need for approval from everyone in your life. This is something I have struggled with in my business and my personal life over the years and as Julia said that a weight came off of my shoulders and I realized that there are people in this world that I want and need approval from then there are others that I dont need or actually want at all. There are customers that were not benefiting my business but I was doing everything for them in hopes that one day they would host a party for me or buy more than just a mascara. Other people in my life that assumed since I make my own schedule that meant I could and should, help them whenever they needed it no matter what, and I did all this until that day, until the day I realized I dont need their approval, and lack of planning on someone else's part does not and should not result in an emergency on my part. There is a great Al Anon quote that says you cant go to a hardware store for a loaf of bread. You cant keep telling yourself "maybe this time it will be different," because that is self abuse.

I also realized that mental energy spent in one area is mental energy taken from another, so I needed to start focusing my mental energy where it mattered, my relationship with Christ, my family, and my business. I had to remember I had nothing to prove and only ONE  to please.

Aristotle Said "There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing," Don't allow the small minded people in the world to effect you. A 16X24 dream cant compute in a 5X7 mind. Some people will never accept that you are trying to better yourself, and they will not be able to accept that you are able to succeed. And when you go to bed at night and you have had a day filled with crab people, pray for them, because the only taste of success some people get is taking a bite out of yours. 

https://youtu.be/VYmGHYC4-jk